The Past, Present, and Future

September 29 was the due date of the baby that we lost earlier this year.

I had been dreading this day for awhile now. After the miscarriage, I kept wondering how I would get through September 29, especially if I wasn't pregnant again. I am so thankful for the baby growing in my stomach that is going to soon join us.

I wanted to remember the day, but didn't feel a need to dwell on the past. I really tried to keep things simple and enjoying the beautiful day. Amelia and I started the day with a Parents As Teachers activity centered around the book, "Have You Filled a Bucket Today?". It was really a neat concept about how everyone carries an imaginary bucket and by doing and saying nice things you fill it for them (and, in turn, fill your own). When your bucket is full, you feel happy. By contrast, you become a "bucket dipper" when you are mean or say something rude to another person. An empty bucket makes others feel sad. I was surprised at how quickly Amelia caught onto the concept and it seemed fitting for the day. We even made a plan on how we could fill someone's bucket the next day (which we did!).

On our way to have our buckets filled:

After the PAT activity, I thought we would spend the rest of the morning picking out and planting some mums around the mailbox and in pots for the front porch. The poor flowers I planted in the springtime were looking pretty dried up and crispy, so this was perfect. It was a small gesture that quickly made a huge difference. Plus, I had lots of help from a certain someone who never passes up a chance to get dirty! It affected my mood immediately and has every day since. I love seeing the fall flowers when I come home!

Lastly, (and I could not think of a better way to spend our afternoon on this day) Amelia and I headed to my 27 week appointment. I like having Amelia at my appointments because the doctor always listens to the baby's heartbeat much longer so that Amelia can get a good listen too. We heard a very healthy heartbeat and the doctor even commented to Amelia that "that is a VERY happy baby in there!". (Probably because I had just eaten a chocolate bar, but I didn't mention that to him). Regardless, that is exactly what I needed to hear!

It was really important to me to remember this loss that still seems so fresh to me, but I am glad this day is behind me. I am eagerly awaiting our baby's arrival and looking forward to seeing what else lies ahead!